I picture a split-face mask for PSG vs Chelsea, half Parisian flair, half gritty London edge, because my friends always roast my divided loyalties and I want Clothing that shows I enjoy the chaos more than picking a side.

For PSG vs Chelsea, I’d design a fake boarding pass tee from Paris to London with snarky seat numbers as the scoreline, because I travel a lot and want Clothing that looks like I just flew in to talk smack at Stamford Bridge.

I want a comic-strip style PSG vs Chelsea design showing three panels of goals flying in, defenders panicking, and a final frame with fans screaming, so the whole match feels like a graphic novel on my chest.

My PSG vs Chelsea idea is a mock movie poster called “Five in Paris,” with over-the-top taglines, dramatic lighting, and tiny fake review quotes, turning the match into a cult blockbuster I can wear to every watch party.